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35 Funny Teacher Quotes to Make Your Teacher's Day

Published: Author: Abby Helgeson

Teachers have a massive impact on student’s lives, providing life lessons and making memories that will last a lifetime. They have a very tough role to play since they influence our lives so much. I’m sure most of you have that one teacher you are thinking of right this second, that truly changed your life. So, why not brighten up a teacher’s day with some funny teacher quotes?! We have no doubt that these quotes will be a hit amongst teachers and students alike!

A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.

-D. Martin

Being a new teacher is like trying to fly an airplane while building it.

-Rick Smith

A policeman pulled me over and asked me for my papers.  I gladly gave him all of my students’ essays to grade and drove off.

-Heidi McDonald

Education is not the filling of a pot but the lighting of a fire.

-W.B. Yeats

I cannot teach anybody anything; I can only make them think.

-Socrates

Your best teacher is your last mistake.

-Ralph Nader

I teach high school math. I sell a product to a market that doesn’t want it, but is forced by law to buy it.

-Dan Meyer

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

-Roald Dahl

Cheers to all of the teachers who give out pencils every single day and know that they'll never get them back.

-Unknown

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.

-Dr. Haim Ginott

Coffee: Turning tired teachers into superheroes on a daily basis.

-Heidi McDonald

Confessions of a Tired Teacher: I was so tired that I stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green.

-Unknown

Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone, so moving my seat won't help at all.

-Unknown

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

-Daniel Boorstin

Educators are the only people who lose sleep over other people's children.

-Nicholas A. Ferroni

Every morning before getting out of bed, I calculate how much sick leave I have left.

-Heidi McDonald

Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

-Oprah Winfrey

Good teachers are the ones who can challenge young minds without losing their own.

-Unknown

Group projects help me understand why Batman works alone.

-Unknown

I am a teacher - I steal things from home and bring them to work.

-Unknown

Teacher: A person who helps you solve problems you’d never have without them.

-Unknown

Teaching is a walk in the park. If that park is Jurassic park.

-Unknown

Teachers are like the road signs because even when they tell you what to do you still get lost.

-Unknown

I never did very well in math. I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.

-Calvin Trillin

Teachers are the only professionals who have to respond to bells every forty-five minutes and come out fighting.

-Frank McCourt

We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can’t do it, we’ll send in a couple of policemen.

-Frank Rizzo

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.

-Bill Gates

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

-George Burns

There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July, and August.

-Unknown

To survive as a teacher you need 3 bones: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.

-Unknown

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

-Woody Allen

There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.

-Lola May

A teacher's nightmare: Tying a wet shoelace when it has NOT been raining!

-Unknown

Sunday is a teacher's day of REST: the REST of the laundry, the REST of the housework, and grade the REST of the papers.

-Heidi McDonald

A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she's looking at.

-John R. Kemble

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