35 Funny Teacher Quotes to Make Your Teacher's Day

A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.

-D. Martin

Being a new teacher is like trying to fly an airplane while building it.

-Rick Smith

A policeman pulled me over and asked me for my papers.  I gladly gave him all of my students’ essays to grade and drove off.

-Heidi McDonald

Education is not the filling of a pot but the lighting of a fire.

-W.B. Yeats

I cannot teach anybody anything; I can only make them think.

-Socrates

Your best teacher is your last mistake.

-Ralph Nader

I teach high school math. I sell a product to a market that doesn’t want it, but is forced by law to buy it.

-Dan Meyer

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

-Roald Dahl

Cheers to all of the teachers who give out pencils every single day and know that they'll never get them back.

-Unknown

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.

-Dr. Haim Ginott

Coffee: Turning tired teachers into superheroes on a daily basis.

-Heidi McDonald

Confessions of a Tired Teacher: I was so tired that I stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green.

-Unknown

Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone, so moving my seat won't help at all.

-Unknown

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

-Daniel Boorstin

Educators are the only people who lose sleep over other people's children.

-Nicholas A. Ferroni

Every morning before getting out of bed, I calculate how much sick leave I have left.

-Heidi McDonald

Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

-Oprah Winfrey

Good teachers are the ones who can challenge young minds without losing their own.

-Unknown

Group projects help me understand why Batman works alone.

-Unknown

I am a teacher - I steal things from home and bring them to work.

-Unknown

Teacher: A person who helps you solve problems you’d never have without them.

-Unknown

Teaching is a walk in the park. If that park is Jurassic park.

-Unknown

Teachers are like the road signs because even when they tell you what to do you still get lost.

-Unknown

I never did very well in math. I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.

-Calvin Trillin

Teachers are the only professionals who have to respond to bells every forty-five minutes and come out fighting.

-Frank McCourt

We need excellence in public education and if the teachers can’t do it, we’ll send in a couple of policemen.

-Frank Rizzo

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.

-Bill Gates

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

-George Burns

There are three good reasons to be a teacher – June, July, and August.

-Unknown

To survive as a teacher you need 3 bones: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.

-Unknown

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

-Woody Allen

There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.

-Lola May

A teacher's nightmare: Tying a wet shoelace when it has NOT been raining!

-Unknown

Sunday is a teacher's day of REST: the REST of the laundry, the REST of the housework, and grade the REST of the papers.

-Heidi McDonald

A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she's looking at.

-John R. Kemble