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15 Funny Wedding Quotes

Published: 2020-12-02T20:29:24+0000 Author: Abby Helgeson

Fancy some funny marriage quotes to get a guaranteed laugh during your wedding speech? You’ve found the right place. 

Although weddings should be filled with speeches about the happy couple and their new chapter in life, it’s great to mix it up a bit and throw some humor in there. Whether you’re the best man, bridesmaid or even a part of the happy couple, adding humorous quotes into your speech can make the night a little less cheesy and a bit more entertaining for everyone. In doing this, you will achieve that magic balance between sentimentality and fun. The perfect recipe for a wedding that will be remembered!

If you ask a married couple for the most important qualities in a spouse "sense of humor" will likely be at the top of their list. Let’s be real, a happy marriage is usually far from perfect, and marriage is often riddled with hilarious moments. That’s why it’s a great idea to add some funny quotes into your wedding speech, toast, or even in your vows. These quotes are snappy and to the point, perfect for filling the room with laughter on your special day.

“Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” -Anonymous

“Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?” -Janet Periat

“Love is sharing your popcorn.” -Charles Schultz

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now update your Facebook status.” -Anonymous

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” -Rita Rudner

“The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.'” -Anonymous

“If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.” -Sigmund Freud

“Marriage – a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.” -Beverley Nichols

“Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.” -Eddie Cantor

“All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” -Raymond Hull

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” -Erma Bombeck

"Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need ten years before you can call yourself a beginner." -Jerry Seinfeld

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.”-Lily Tomlin

“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.” Joseph Barth

"My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." -Winston Churchill

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